after a suggestion from Singla Ma, i surfed over to Credit Boards and proceeded to try to wrap my head around some of the steps i can take to get my finances back on track. there is SO much information over there! browsing the topics and reading some of the suggestions of others i once again felt overwhelmed. there is so much i didn't know. so much i wish i would have known in the beginning. and so much i still have to learn.
but i'm hopeful.
the strangest thing happened. last night i had a dream that i was embattled with a collection agent and i was hitting him with all the info i learned on Credit Boards. my information game was too tight and he was no match for me (ha!). i woke up laughing and hopeful. for the first time in a long time i realized that my future is actually in my hands. just because i made mistakes in the past, doesn't mean i have to roll over and accept bad credit for the next 7 years.
although i'm still trying to wrap my head around the endless amount of information on the site, i will definitely be doing my homework (at home and work..lol). i am no longer entertaining the thoughts of bankruptcy or just giving up, resigned to a life of bad credit. nah homie....Com Cents is on the come up!
thank you to everyone who has commented, given advice, and pointed me in the right direction. your help is very much appreciated!